My current soft rock obsession is songs that try to poetically say “I’m not interested in you.” Who writes songs for people they don’t like? Could we bring back this trend? Because it’s hilarious. They’re all like, “I don’t have the heart to love you” or “I’m not so sure where I stand.” Listen, the protocol for not wanting to date someone is typically the cell phone delete or the awkward “Yeah, I know, I’ve just been SO busy at work,” not a tribute song.
My cousin and I amused ourselves over the holiday coming up with an album that will pay tender homage to this dilemma, tentatively titled “I’m Thinking No.” The first single will be “I Don’t Want (To Put My Dick In You),” to the tune of “All I Need (Is Just A Little More Time)” by Jack Wagner. Check it out below and put the lyrics in for yourself. It’s very catchy.
Also, wasn’t this guy on a fucking soap opera or something?
I was eating a soy crisp while I read this, and now I’m choking. In a good way.
He was on General Hospital! He played Frisco, and I was totally in love with him.
HA! How on earth did you remember that song???
That’s Peter from Melrose Place! Ha! Who knew he sang that??!! And isn’t he dating Heather Locklear in real life?
Was, and still is – he’s currently on The Bold and the Beautiful. Also, I hope that was just a delay in the video feed and he’s not THAT horrible of a lip-syncher (sp? And is that even a word?)